Only the Lord Knows

Only the Lord knows what is going on in my heart today, but it is heavy. Heavy with sadness for the families out there who have lost God's little angels, those that can not experience the miracle of life, those who are unable to have a miracle of there own in one way or another.

Ever since Grayson was born my heart has been in this place. Some days the feelings are stronger then other days. This place I cannot describe and I do not know how to get out or what I'm suppose to do. I pray continually that God uses me in the way he wants to, in His time, and that I glorify him.

I have spoken with Gray several times about this and have shared with him my heart, I sometimes think he does not take me seriously. I think that God has put this on my heart so that I can carry a child for another family, or I can give a family my eggs (though I will admit that one scares me the most). What ever God has planned I want to be ready, and I am fully devoted to it.

I ask you to pray for the families that have lost a child, and for the families that so badly want a child and are unable to conceive there own.

God Bless you today and if you have a child may you see what a blessing you truly have.